Tuesday, August 11, 2009

G.I. JOE -Rise of Cobra (or some such silly title)


It's been far, far, far too long since I've written a review. Blarf?


Anywho, I saw GI Joe last night. It was mediocre at best. Actually there were a couple of times when I broke down laughing... sadly they were some rather not-supposed-to-be-funny scenes.
:( Fail, anyone?

I think the climax of cheese may have been when Rex (who is wearing a metal mask, talking rather deeply, and has a machine making loud breathing noises) says the line, "No, Duke...[this is not the end]" or something. I just remember the "No, Duke." Darth Vader versus the Joes? Hmm... epic... but fail. Epic fail. Fail epically. Epically epic failing failure. Fail.

"No, Duke, I am your future brother in law." Hehe... that would have at least been purposefully funny.

That wasn't the only Star Wars nod that Joe gave (without attempting to give any). There was a shot where a ship flies out of a tunnel through a big explosion. :D My brother, Behemoth, and I looked at each other with expressions that were confused mixtures of "What the hell," "Millenium Falcon?" and "Did they REALLY just do that?" Needless to say I was not impressed.

The writing was mediocre, the acting barely tollerable (with two exceptions**) and the directing weak.

That being said... I enjoyed it. :D If you LOVE the toys (and I grew up on those toys) and you like laughing at cheesey sci-fi then this movie is for you. Although (since I have OCD and am something of a prude) I would torment myself if I did not warn of some racey outfits.

**The two exceptions to the barely tollerable rule would be Christopher Eccleston as James McCullen/Destro (he was great) and the chick who's name I can't find who carried the clipboard and got stabbed (she was SO awful that it wasn't even tollerable).

Overall 2/5 stars. : It was okay.


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